Freud considered the Oedipus complex, and he was inspired by the Greek myth to give its name. The myth says that when Oedipus was born, the oracle foretold his father King Laius that the child would kill him and would marry her own mother.
The father, in an attempt to avoid the prophecy, commanded to kill the
child, but the plan failed, and Oedipus returned to Thebes as an adult and
fulfilled the prophecy.
Freud describes the Oedipus complex, as a stage of child development, and is essential in shaping the subject's psychic. It is known to be a period in which children experience a crush on her parents. Freud claimed that during the sexual evolution of humans, there is a moment in childhood in which children are attracted to the mother in the case of the boys and to the father, in the case of the girls. It may sound a little strange but in certain cases it is clear that the child expresses jealousy or rejection of manifestations of affection between their parents. It is a characteristic symptom of the Oedipus complex, named, as we said above, because Freud, to explain this fixation, refers to the Greek tragedy "Oedipus the King" in which Oedipus unknowingly kills his father and marries his mother. In the case of girls this complex is called the Electra complex.
In both cases, the small adopts a possessive and tries to prevent their parents have demonstrations of affection between them.
This is because children, around four or five years, during sexual
development seek identification and model behavior of the person they
admire most: The father, in the case of the boys and the mother in the
case of the girls. So children imitate everything his father does for the sole purpose of being like him.
However, when they see their father love and seduces the mother, the
child begins to do the same and unwittingly ends up seeing his father as
a rival.
According to Freud, this emotional conflict is part of the natural development of the child's sexuality. It is an unconscious conflict of love and hate, guilt and fear, which can not be avoided by instinctive stage.
WHAT SHOULD PARENTS DO TO FACE THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX?
The attitude of parents is crucial for the child in a short time to identify their sexual role and clearly conceived family relationships. Here, there are some tips:
- Look at the situation as something abnormal and do not allow the child to feel that his/her behavior attracts attention.
- Do not make fun, it might be funny to see how the child is jealous of a parent, but it is a serious situation, not a game.
- At the time of reaction of jealousy you should talk to the child and explain gently and seriously that is not right what he says or does.
- Look carefully at your child and do not neglect this situation. Remind him/her that mom and dad both love him/her and explain briefly what the family love is about.
There is nothing in the Oedipus complex aberrant or unnatural.
Quite simply, nature is prior to culture, and the child has not yet
fully internalized our cultural norms, including the incest taboo. So far the matter here does not offer major problem.
Ultimately, reality itself ensures that things do not reach higher, as
much as the boy or girl can sometimes say: "Dad, Mom, when I grow up or
I'm going to marry you".
But the battles fought in the realm of fantasy, sometimes, those battles are as important as those waged in the field of reality. Because the "crush" of the child to his mom necessarily makes his father as a rival, and this causes a major guilt. The girl happens to the reverse, with the aggravating circumstance that her current rival (mom) had been, when she was a baby and when she was in her infancy, the central and fundamental character of her life. The drama is served. The attraction for Mom or Dad can be lived by the girl or boy consciously -we said before that sometimes they have said they want to marry them- but the rivalry with the parent of the same sex is more or less unconscious, because it causes guilt. How to admit that one would like the person bothers us disappear, even it is a dear person? Dad and Mom, do not forget that, are by far, the most beloved and important people for a child, at this stage.
This family soup opera is manifested in many ways. Children want to call their mother's attention of all costs with jokes and prowess. Girls display an irresistible charm and at this age they find it easily when dealing with Dad. And the rivalry is noticed by the mother: "My daughter, as someone told us, treats me in a despotic way, sometimes frankly unbearable, and instead with his dad breaks into squeamishness. The truth is that sometimes I'm dissapointed". But we should not panic. This stage, as we have said, is as normal as a passenger. A phase that we have passed too, though we do not keep memories. Firstly because those early years have stayed so far, but also because, once closed that stage, emotions and experiences related to this matter suffer heavy censorship and succumb to oblivion, becoming part of our unconscious world.
HOW AND WHEN THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX IS OVER?
We have said that this conflict is transient and point out that it is
because, under normal conditions, it is kept within limits and ends
unresolved. This applies at least in well-balanced and established families where the roles of each remain unclear.
That and the rapid maturation of the child eventually take him/her to assimilate
the reality principle: Dad and mom belong as a couple, and he has
nothing to do in this area. His role and his place is another, from which he can also love parents intensively and be loved by them, but on another level.
So he decides to postpone his romantic impulses and chooses the path
of identification: The male wants to be a man like dad and later seeks a
woman as the mother, and the girl will do the other away around. This way, his feelings would be in peace.
However, there are circumstances that may affect the proper course and outcome of this stage we have described. A bad relationship between the parents can make the children's fantasies exacerbate and the child thinks he occupies a place that it is not with respect to the parent of the opposite sex, especially if this one (the parent) looks in the child a compensation of defrauded love or if rivals his or her spouse to hog the love of the son.. Worse, if you search a complicity with child at all costs, even speaking badly about the other and making confidences about family crisis. If, in the middle of this situation, you allow the child, for example, occupy the place of the absent parent in the marital bed, the situation will have already led to a maximum level of risk and the child can become a death trap. Trapped in their incestuous fantasies and overcome by emotions, of course, by an intense feeling of guilt, psychosexual maturity and his whole personality can be altered. Neurosis and various disorders in relationships and in the sexual sphere will be later signs of this change.
Do not be scared. Typically the Oedipal situation is resolved without problems, but the risk exists and you better be prevented. There are two conditions for a healthy resolution of this stage. The first, the couple formed by parents has to show him/her they love each other and they are very close. This will help the child to find his/her place as a child, his/her fantasies counterbalancing the weight of reality. When he or she is sure that his/her parents love each other and they love him/her, this will give him/her security and will make him/her happy, setting him/her from disturbing fantasies.
A second factor that will help a good resolution of this stage is that none of the parents abdicate their authority. Wives have to avoid that the father is over accommodating to the girl for leaving the mother the whole weight of the severity (and conversely with the child), which will tip the scale in favor of one parent affecting the emotional relationship with the child with both. The two must combine authority and tenderness. The father should be, of course, affectionate with the girl, and the mother with her son, but being careful not to stimulate their fantasies beyond what is sensible and reasonable.
We said it before, we must be careful not to exclude a parent and generate conflicts in their roles as parents. If your child feels that you are his/her only love and you do not know how to act in this situation, in www.sitiohispano.com you will find expert psychologists, who can guide you in this process, surely the result will be happier children, loving and highly resolved in love.
Namaste.
NEW MOON
Freud describes the Oedipus complex, as a stage of child development, and is essential in shaping the subject's psychic. It is known to be a period in which children experience a crush on her parents. Freud claimed that during the sexual evolution of humans, there is a moment in childhood in which children are attracted to the mother in the case of the boys and to the father, in the case of the girls. It may sound a little strange but in certain cases it is clear that the child expresses jealousy or rejection of manifestations of affection between their parents. It is a characteristic symptom of the Oedipus complex, named, as we said above, because Freud, to explain this fixation, refers to the Greek tragedy "Oedipus the King" in which Oedipus unknowingly kills his father and marries his mother. In the case of girls this complex is called the Electra complex.
According to Freud, this emotional conflict is part of the natural development of the child's sexuality. It is an unconscious conflict of love and hate, guilt and fear, which can not be avoided by instinctive stage.
WHAT SHOULD PARENTS DO TO FACE THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX?
The attitude of parents is crucial for the child in a short time to identify their sexual role and clearly conceived family relationships. Here, there are some tips:
- Look at the situation as something abnormal and do not allow the child to feel that his/her behavior attracts attention.
- Do not make fun, it might be funny to see how the child is jealous of a parent, but it is a serious situation, not a game.
- At the time of reaction of jealousy you should talk to the child and explain gently and seriously that is not right what he says or does.
- Look carefully at your child and do not neglect this situation. Remind him/her that mom and dad both love him/her and explain briefly what the family love is about.
But the battles fought in the realm of fantasy, sometimes, those battles are as important as those waged in the field of reality. Because the "crush" of the child to his mom necessarily makes his father as a rival, and this causes a major guilt. The girl happens to the reverse, with the aggravating circumstance that her current rival (mom) had been, when she was a baby and when she was in her infancy, the central and fundamental character of her life. The drama is served. The attraction for Mom or Dad can be lived by the girl or boy consciously -we said before that sometimes they have said they want to marry them- but the rivalry with the parent of the same sex is more or less unconscious, because it causes guilt. How to admit that one would like the person bothers us disappear, even it is a dear person? Dad and Mom, do not forget that, are by far, the most beloved and important people for a child, at this stage.
This family soup opera is manifested in many ways. Children want to call their mother's attention of all costs with jokes and prowess. Girls display an irresistible charm and at this age they find it easily when dealing with Dad. And the rivalry is noticed by the mother: "My daughter, as someone told us, treats me in a despotic way, sometimes frankly unbearable, and instead with his dad breaks into squeamishness. The truth is that sometimes I'm dissapointed". But we should not panic. This stage, as we have said, is as normal as a passenger. A phase that we have passed too, though we do not keep memories. Firstly because those early years have stayed so far, but also because, once closed that stage, emotions and experiences related to this matter suffer heavy censorship and succumb to oblivion, becoming part of our unconscious world.
HOW AND WHEN THE OEDIPUS COMPLEX IS OVER?
We have said that this conflict is transient and point out that it is
because, under normal conditions, it is kept within limits and ends
unresolved. This applies at least in well-balanced and established families where the roles of each remain unclear.
That and the rapid maturation of the child eventually take him/her to assimilate
the reality principle: Dad and mom belong as a couple, and he has
nothing to do in this area. His role and his place is another, from which he can also love parents intensively and be loved by them, but on another level.
So he decides to postpone his romantic impulses and chooses the path
of identification: The male wants to be a man like dad and later seeks a
woman as the mother, and the girl will do the other away around. This way, his feelings would be in peace. However, there are circumstances that may affect the proper course and outcome of this stage we have described. A bad relationship between the parents can make the children's fantasies exacerbate and the child thinks he occupies a place that it is not with respect to the parent of the opposite sex, especially if this one (the parent) looks in the child a compensation of defrauded love or if rivals his or her spouse to hog the love of the son.. Worse, if you search a complicity with child at all costs, even speaking badly about the other and making confidences about family crisis. If, in the middle of this situation, you allow the child, for example, occupy the place of the absent parent in the marital bed, the situation will have already led to a maximum level of risk and the child can become a death trap. Trapped in their incestuous fantasies and overcome by emotions, of course, by an intense feeling of guilt, psychosexual maturity and his whole personality can be altered. Neurosis and various disorders in relationships and in the sexual sphere will be later signs of this change.
Do not be scared. Typically the Oedipal situation is resolved without problems, but the risk exists and you better be prevented. There are two conditions for a healthy resolution of this stage. The first, the couple formed by parents has to show him/her they love each other and they are very close. This will help the child to find his/her place as a child, his/her fantasies counterbalancing the weight of reality. When he or she is sure that his/her parents love each other and they love him/her, this will give him/her security and will make him/her happy, setting him/her from disturbing fantasies.
A second factor that will help a good resolution of this stage is that none of the parents abdicate their authority. Wives have to avoid that the father is over accommodating to the girl for leaving the mother the whole weight of the severity (and conversely with the child), which will tip the scale in favor of one parent affecting the emotional relationship with the child with both. The two must combine authority and tenderness. The father should be, of course, affectionate with the girl, and the mother with her son, but being careful not to stimulate their fantasies beyond what is sensible and reasonable.
We said it before, we must be careful not to exclude a parent and generate conflicts in their roles as parents. If your child feels that you are his/her only love and you do not know how to act in this situation, in www.sitiohispano.com you will find expert psychologists, who can guide you in this process, surely the result will be happier children, loving and highly resolved in love.
Namaste.
NEW MOON
No hay comentarios:
Publicar un comentario