COMPLEXES IN CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS

Having a few extra kilos, that we do not like our body, a strident voice timbre or very grave... All along the years, we can develop some other resort. But what is a complex?, When do they begin to appear? In what could  we overcome them?.

A complex, according to the "theory of complexes" is a mental image, which has a strong emotional charge, either a  lived situation or of oneself, which interferes unconsciously in our thoughts and  in our way to act, often negatively. In other words, the complexes are distorted perceptions of reality that the a person has of him or herself, both his/her characteristics and his/her abilities, or even their own worth.

As we know, the image we have of ourselves, and our capabilities, is based on all those messages we get from when we are small, since our childhood. At that time the family environment is absolutely decisive, some issues favor the child feels unsafe and/or home unloved, developing  low self-esteem, something that gradually will influence the formation of a complexed character.

We must not forget this time, the school environment is  equally important for the correct formation of the child in relation to both his own personality, his intellect and his way of being. The jeers and laughter, can seriously influence the child's personality, something that will highlight further during early adolescence, where the teenager looks for his identity through the approval of others. We can not ignore the stereotypes and the ways that mark our society about the success or beauty.

I DO NOT LIKE HOW I AM

Big nose, too fat, too skinny, too awkward, tall, short, any of this physical characteristic can become a torment for a child. Help them to overcome and accept them is not an easy task, but not impossible.

We have complexes when we hide or try to hide what we are, it is important to accept yourself as you are, and if there is anything you do not like about you, you just have to work to change it, not camouflage or hide it. If what it troubles you can not  be changed, you have to accept it and always make it positive. Everything in life has its positive side, we just have to look and not to give up in the attempt until  we achieve it. Let's take out  the  complexes that breaks the development of a person, and also of those around him or her.

The complexes are irrational and think repeatedly about what we do not like ourselves can cause insecurity and low self-esteem. Sometimes the complexes correspond to a reality, others simply respond to a distorted self-perception. In a few cases, they are the result of the fun of a classmate, others are motivated because the children are compared with the perfect images shown in advertising or television. See? no one is safe and they can make the child feel inferior and affect him in his social relations and school.

Children who have a "different" characteristic, have always been teased and sometimes received nicknames. In all classes and in all ages has existed the nerd, the chubby, the weakling, to give some examples, though perhaps in this age children are more concerned about their appearance, as we live in a society that sometimes without realizing it, we give  great importance to physical appearance, which is perceived by the children, who also have reference models appearing on television and in advertising.
From 8 to 10 years is when they can start to experience these "complexes", as it is when you have the perception of self-image and your friends start to become important. In adolescence may be accentuated because it is a step in which the changes physically are noticeable,  personality is being defined and it is very important the group acceptance.

HOW TO OVERCOME THE COMPLEXES?

When a child or adolescent does not like him/hersef and a personal feature supposes to be  problem, parents should not minimize his feelings, telling him not to worry and that is an exaggeration, though we  think his problem  is silly,  his suffering is real. So phrases like "sorry you're worried ..." or "we can talk, tell me how you feel ...", will help him to express his feelings. It is necessary to provide tools to deal with his insecurities. If he is  a child and he suffers peer teasing by a physical difference, you have to explain that each person is different and when someone messes with them is to feel superior. It is necessary to teach him to value, emphasizing and enhancing his qualities and positive virtues.

Sometimes the complex is motivated by a distorted image of themselves when compared with colleagues or favorite actors. In these cases it is important that they learn to love as they are, with their flaws, it is convenient  to remind them their strengths to be valued, and have a conversation with them to explain that is frequent what is happening to them and gradually they will learn to like what they are. We must teach the children to be themselves, to live according to their tastes and characteristics, without caring what anyone thinks of them. Tell them that it is impossible to please everyone and there will always be people prettier and uglier, fatter or thinner, but that physical appearance is not important, but what really matters is the way to be.

Parents should be attentive to know how to detect when a child suffers from these issues, because they are sometimes shown retracted and sad, but at other times they can hide it under a haughty attitude, by behaving in such a way challenging.

The most important thing is to overcome a complex loving yourself, know your strengths and weaknesses both physical and character to accept them. It may be helpful to ask the teen to make a list of what he thinks are his faults and virtues, so that they can cope and realize all the positive characteristics they have.

Remind them not to constantly complain about their defects, since this will affect the image that others have of them and build self-esteem to win trus and confidence. It is also important to teach young children overcome problems in their  life, so that they learn to resolve conflicts that adults have to overcome, and accept the setbacks, as this is part of the learning process.
 
DO NOT FORGET:

-Give them example. If they see you value in excess your physical image or others,  they will  learn to value themselves by their appearance.

-Do not  highlight their flaws and enhance their qualities instead.

-Assess them. His family background is very important for a child, so if you don't feel wanted and appreciated you can increase its insecurity

-Give examples of people who have succeeded despite having a defect, to understand that they can convert to positive being different.

COSMETIC SURGERY TO END COMPLEX

In recent years, the age at which young people undergo cosmetic surgery has decreased. Nose or chest operations are sometimes given by parents themselves. Experts advise against operations to teenagers, since they have not finished their physical development. In any case, it is more important to help them to overcome a complex than eliminate the reason for the complex through an intervention.

In the case of liposuctions, interventions of breast or nose, the Spanish Society of Plastic surgery recommends not to operate before 18 years, except in concrete cases, as it might be that the person is suffering breathing problems that motivate the rhinoplasty. Behind these actions, you can covertly, give messages of trivialization of health, lack of respect for the own body and too much importance to the image.

In conclusion we may add that the complex can be overcome without much difficulty if the parents give their children the support they need. Even better, your kids will never have any complex if they are well educated by parents before going to school. This will give them confidence and what people say  will not have any adverse effect on their character. What is learned at home, will benefit all life.

For further information, please contact our experts to find on our portal www.sitiohispano.com

Namaste.

LUNA NUEVA